3 Dead Simple Ways to Get a Bazillion Likes on Facebook While Still in Your Pajamas (and Make Millions Doing It)

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You may not have heard, but there is this new website out there called Facebook. Apparently there are something like a billion people hanging around on this thing just foaming at the mouth to buy stuff from you. In fact, they will even tell their friends to buy stuff from you as well!

And the best part?

You don’t have to really do anything! It just kind of happens! Pretty awesome, right?

There is a catch though. You need a lot of people to like you. Not like you, like you, so don’t worry you can still be a jerk. You just need them to pretend to like you. The more people that (pretend to) like you, the more successful you will be, thus proving your 9th grade gym teacher wrong.

I know. Pinch me, right?

So, I have taken it upon myself to do the math for you and according to my calculations, you are going to need somewhere in the neighborhood of 1 bazillion likes in order to be able to strut into your next networking event showing off how awesome you are.

Don’t worry. It’s not as difficult as it sounds. There are a few ways we can pack on the likes pretty easily…

You Can Buy Likes

For the price of a box of Coco Puffs you can get as many as 5,000 new likes to your page using Fiverr almost immediately. A small sacrifice. It doesn’t matter that these “people” don’t really like your page. And won’t have any interaction with you. And won’t help spread your message or share your posts. And will likely spam your wall with their own agenda. And in most cases aren’t even real people with real accounts.

It doesn’t matter, right?

All you care about are the numbers. Countless studies have shown that people will think you are freakin’ awesome when they see your page jump 5,000 new likes in one day. And they won’t think anything fishy is going on either!

Besides, this isn’t about the truth or integrity anyway. This is about perception and that warm fuzzy feeling you get when large numbers of people pretend to like you. Even if they aren’t real.

It’s no different than when I was a kid and would buy my own “You’re Terrific!” stickers and put them on my homework assignment. It made me feel good and it fooled my parents. Everybody wins.

You Can Ask for Likes

You have to A-S-K if you want to G-E-T, remember? But there is a problem. That means that you are going to have to ask at least a bazillion people. It just seems like an awful lot of work. And the last thing you want to do is actually put in real effort or anything like that, right? This is about fast results. Or at least perceived results. It’s pretty much the same thing.

So, the only way that this method is going to work is to somehow automate the process by setting up an auto responder using a site like ifttt.com. This way, everyone that follows you on Twitter will get this thought provoking and sincere message:

“Thanks for following. Please like my Facebook page: http://goo.gl/mXdCv

It’s to the point. It has a call to action. It’s cleverly written and well thought out. It’s everything you could ever want in an “I don’t care about you” styled message to someone you don’t know. And if you are an over achiever, you can even add a winky smiley face at the end. People really dig winky smiley faces. ;)

See?

You Can Earn Likes

Or…and I’m just thinking out loud here…you can earn these likes. You can offer so much value that people will want to like your page because they actually like your page. Or because they actually like you. Because you have made yourself into such a valuable resource that others want to be around you. To learn from you. To be inspired by you. To connect with you. To engage with you.

You can be funny. Inspirational. You can help people. You can answer lots of questions. Offer discounts on products. Share other people’s content. Connect people. You can even listen. And of course engage.

You can create such an overwhelming case for yourself that you will never have to buy a single like or guilt someone into liking your page. In fact, it might make them more interested in what you have to say. Maybe even a more active member of your community. All because it was their idea to like your page…not yours.

I know. That sounds like an awful lot of work doesn’t it? It is. And it will take a little while. It’ll probably be frustrating at times too. But I bet it will be worth it.

You see, the only people that ask for likes or buy likes are the ones that need likes…and the only ones that actually get likes are the ones that earn likes. No exceptions.

I don’t have a ton of likes. Not compared to MC Hammer anyway. He has a lot. But I’m proud to say that I have earned every single one of them without asking…except maybe my wife. I asked her. Besides that, I have never bought or asked for a like. And I’m not going to start now.

And you shouldn’t either.

Let’s Make a Vow

How about this. Let’s both make a vow. Right now. From this point forward, no more buying likes. No more auto responders. Let’s return the integrity back to Facebook and what a like actually means.

I’m going to leave a link to my Facebook page here:

http://goo.gl/mXdCv

If I have offered you enough value or made you laugh or gave you an idea or made you feel good, maybe you will click on it. Maybe not. It’s up to you. I’ll still like you either way.

And I think you should do the same thing. Leave a comment below. A good one. Not something like “thanks!” or “you suck“. Add some value. And include a link to your Facebook page and if you have added enough value to the conversation maybe we’ll like your page too. Maybe not.

We’ll still like you either way. I promise.

Giant high-five to Tommy Walker of Tommy.ismy.Name fame for help and encouragement with the updated title!

Featured image courtesy of Denis Dervisevic licensed via Creative Commons.

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  • Alex a

    Hey Marc, I don’t always agree with your thoughts, but I always enjoy what you write. I am not one who usually leaves comments, but just thought I would say keep the blogs post coming…

    • http://www.marcensign.com/blog Marc Ensign

      Hey Alex! Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment! I would love to hear what stuff you don’t agree with so make sure you leave those comments too. I get more from the challenges than I do from the pats on the back…although I do like the pats on the back, so don’t stop that either. Maybe find a happy medium :)

  • http://twitter.com/MattLBrennan Matt Brennan

    Hi Marc. I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate this blog. When you buy likes, you’re trading on your honesty and integrity. It may not seem like a big deal at the time, but if a real customer discovers your secret, they may feel duped into a false sense of community. Not a trade I’d want to make, and I advise clients against this type of thing frequently.

    • http://www.marcensign.com/blog Marc Ensign

      Hey Matt! I couldn’t agree more. And the funny thing is that it is so obvious! I’ve seen accounts where 70% of the people that like their page don’t have a picture or are all from the same town overseas and all like the same 3 bands. It really makes the company look foolish. It’s like going out and buying cardboard cutouts of people and placing them throughout your store as if they were shopping so your store looks busy. You aren’t fooling anyone!

  • http://orraclemedia.com/ Rob Orr

    This post reminds me of a post last year from Lisa Barone about the reason your customers hate your (well, not YOURS specifically) Facebook page. Social media is going to be spammy, I guess there’s no way around it, but those who deliver will excel. Now, back to figuring out how to deliver…

    http://outspokenmedia.com/social-media/reason-your-customers-hate-you-on-facebook/

    • http://www.marcensign.com/blog Marc Ensign

      Hey Rob! Thanks for sharing that post. Just got done reading it and commenting on it. She used some great examples!

  • Sif Neo

    Word ;)))

    • http://www.marcensign.com/blog Marc Ensign

      HA!

  • Simon Thompson

    Value indeed, better than Woolworth. You do make me laugh Marc, This time you put the coin in the slot and the rocking man nearly fell of his seat.You seem to be getting better, like your mother said “Practice makes perfect.”. I will tell everyone to “LIKE” your Facebook page.

    • http://www.marcensign.com/blog Marc Ensign

      Thank you Simon! I can always count on you for some bizarre analogy that makes me smile. Since I got back to writing every night while working on a book that I will have done before the end of the year has really helped me keep the saw sharp. Just do me a favor…as my friend, if I start to suck, you’d better tell me! I m counting on you!!!!!

  • TammyBoltWerthem

    Like your ideas, liked your Fb page, come like ours at http://iwokeupyesterday.com/

    • http://www.marcensign.com/blog Marc Ensign

      Hi Tammy! Thanks!!!! I just liked your page as well. I’m going to head back and poke around your content a little bit. From what I saw in the 3 seconds I was there (sorry for adding to your bounce rate) it looked right up my alley!

  • http://twitter.com/Ms_MelissaNg Melissa Ng

    While reading your post, I suddenly thought of this Facebook page:

    https://www.facebook.com/corporatebollocks

    I felt like you’d appreciate it.

    Entertaining and educational read. Earned my like!

    • http://www.marcensign.com/blog Marc Ensign

      Nice share! I actually found this page a few weeks ago. It had me crying (in a good and bad way). As funny as it is, it is so true!!!!!!

  • ebuttscpa

    The auto responder with an link to a Facebook page is one of the most irritating practices on Twitter. It would be great to do a study on this to see how many people actually go and like the FB page. I imagine the yield must be pretty low.
    I’m just glad people started getting exposed publicly for this kind of nonsensical behavior. When people started getting exposed for buying followers on Twitter, it was pure comedy watching all of the twitpics flow through my timeline . The Scarlet A of our time? Is that too much a stretch?
    I probably shouldn’t enjoy it as much as I did, and yet…

    • http://www.marcensign.com/blog Marc Ensign

      Nope…you should enjoy it! You’re one of the guys adding value to the conversations. You’ve earned the right to point and laugh at those getting busted!

  • http://www.facebook.com/lisa.kander Lisa Kander

    You earned a “like” by making me grin. My love/hate relationship with Facebook is starting to tip to the dark side. I feel the false sense of intimacy is actually taking away from the closeness I value with friends and family.

    • http://www.marcensign.com/blog Marc Ensign

      Thank you so much for the Like, share and comment Lisa! Don’t lose faith in Facebook just yet! There is still some work to do, but we’ll fix it!

  • Pingback: Quality in Your Pajamas (Or: Misinformation is Waste) | Quality and Innovation()

  • http://cliffpro.com/ Cliff Huizenga

    At first, I started to read this post going, “What?? He can’t be serious!” I’m happy to say I agree with you at the end and had a quick laugh when the “big reveal” of actually — legitimately — earning likes came about. The point of social media is to connect to your audience, and buying an audience in the hope to attract others doesn’t really work.

    By the way, you got legitimate likes from my personal account and my FB page. ;)

    • http://www.marcensign.com/blog Marc Ensign

      Ha! I’m really glad you saw it through to the payoff at the end! Thanks for sharing, commenting and liking Cliff! Means a lot!!

  • http://florizelmedia.com Pauline Randall

    Great post Marc and so true. As I keep telling my clients it’s quality not quantity that counts. Not that I’d want to discourage people from liking my page! I wrote a blog post not that long ago about buying likes on Twitter – no benefit in being followed by zombies. Mind you, twitter has got on the case and deleted all 12k fakes on my special account! http://florizelmedia.com/2012/08/buying-fans-what-you-really-get/

    Anyway, if you’d like to join us on Facebook we’d love it! https://www.facebook.com/florizelmedia

    • http://www.marcensign.com/blog Marc Ensign

      Thanks for sharing Pauline! I feel the same way about buying Twitter follows. I don’t get it. It’s impressive from the outside for all of about 30 seconds. How did Twitter bust you and remove your fake likes?

      • http://florizelmedia.com Pauline Randall

        The Twitter account http://www.twitter.com/SocialMediaAwes is still there just that most of the followers have disappeared. When I checked the fake profiles they were also following other accounts and mostly the same ones so I guess that Twitter just deleted their accounts. It’s good that it’s doing that, will take a good few out of the system!

  • Linda Doty

    I don’t typical follow brands on Facebook at all, but there is one. Have you seen Mr. Clean on Facebook? Holy cow, I just want to start buying those products (if only I cleaned, right?) because their FB campaign is awesome. Engaging and funny, not pushy, visual. Best old-brand example I’ve seen of getting it right on Facebook. And I know tons of my friends follow too – some of them probably clean stuff, even.

    • http://www.marcensign.com/blog Marc Ensign

      I only follow Mrs. Dirty. Wait….did I actually say that out loud. Damn you late night commenting!

  • Deborah Montagna

    I liked your page and actually read many of your tweeted articles. You have been helpful to me as I work to promote my brother’s law firm. He’s not just another lawyer – he’s smart and caring and the techy in the family. So thanks for your help and I look forward to hearing more on how I can work with social media sites! https://www.facebook.com/pages/Law-Office-of-Kellam-T-Parks-PLLC/125095490952918

    • http://www.marcensign.com/blog Marc Ensign

      Thanks Deborah!!! I appreciate the kind words! How is your brother-in-laws practice been doing lately?

  • http://twitter.com/bifortis Bifortis

    Thanks for sharing this article Marc. I like the way you wright, it’s engaging. And I liked you FB page. Of all advice you gave here the first one was really freaky:)but then I got your tone)

    • http://www.marcensign.com/blog Marc Ensign

      I can imagine all of the people that never quite made it past the beginning and never got the joke. Oh well!

  • jon

    Hahaha!! This article made my day. Thanks marc…oh and check out my business’s page and give it a like or a thousand…up to you!! http://www.facebook.com/thevintagealternative