You may not have heard, but there is this new website out there called Facebook. Apparently there are something like a billion people hanging around on this thing just foaming at the mouth to buy stuff from you. In fact, they will even tell their friends to buy stuff from you as well!
And the best part?
You don’t have to really do anything! It just kind of happens! Pretty awesome, right?
There is a catch though. You need a lot of people to like you. Not like you, like you, so don’t worry you can still be a jerk. You just need them to pretend to like you. The more people that (pretend to) like you, the more successful you will be, thus proving your 9th grade gym teacher wrong.
I know. Pinch me, right?
So, I have taken it upon myself to do the math for you and according to my calculations, you are going to need somewhere in the neighborhood of 1 bazillion likes in order to be able to strut into your next networking event showing off how awesome you are.
Don’t worry. It’s not as difficult as it sounds. There are a few ways we can pack on the likes pretty easily…
You Can Buy Likes
For the price of a box of Coco Puffs you can get as many as 5,000 new likes to your page using Fiverr almost immediately. A small sacrifice. It doesn’t matter that these “people” don’t really like your page. And won’t have any interaction with you. And won’t help spread your message or share your posts. And will likely spam your wall with their own agenda. And in most cases aren’t even real people with real accounts.
It doesn’t matter, right?
All you care about are the numbers. Countless studies have shown that people will think you are freakin’ awesome when they see your page jump 5,000 new likes in one day. And they won’t think anything fishy is going on either!
Besides, this isn’t about the truth or integrity anyway. This is about perception and that warm fuzzy feeling you get when large numbers of people pretend to like you. Even if they aren’t real.
It’s no different than when I was a kid and would buy my own “You’re Terrific!” stickers and put them on my homework assignment. It made me feel good and it fooled my parents. Everybody wins.
You Can Ask for Likes
You have to A-S-K if you want to G-E-T, remember? But there is a problem. That means that you are going to have to ask at least a bazillion people. It just seems like an awful lot of work. And the last thing you want to do is actually put in real effort or anything like that, right? This is about fast results. Or at least perceived results. It’s pretty much the same thing.
So, the only way that this method is going to work is to somehow automate the process by setting up an auto responder using a site like ifttt.com. This way, everyone that follows you on Twitter will get this thought provoking and sincere message:
“Thanks for following. Please like my Facebook page: http://goo.gl/mXdCv”
It’s to the point. It has a call to action. It’s cleverly written and well thought out. It’s everything you could ever want in an “I don’t care about you” styled message to someone you don’t know. And if you are an over achiever, you can even add a winky smiley face at the end. People really dig winky smiley faces. ;)
You Can Earn Likes
Or…and I’m just thinking out loud here…you can earn these likes. You can offer so much value that people will want to like your page because they actually like your page. Or because they actually like you. Because you have made yourself into such a valuable resource that others want to be around you. To learn from you. To be inspired by you. To connect with you. To engage with you.
You can be funny. Inspirational. You can help people. You can answer lots of questions. Offer discounts on products. Share other people’s content. Connect people. You can even listen. And of course engage.
You can create such an overwhelming case for yourself that you will never have to buy a single like or guilt someone into liking your page. In fact, it might make them more interested in what you have to say. Maybe even a more active member of your community. All because it was their idea to like your page…not yours.
I know. That sounds like an awful lot of work doesn’t it? It is. And it will take a little while. It’ll probably be frustrating at times too. But I bet it will be worth it.
You see, the only people that ask for likes or buy likes are the ones that need likes…and the only ones that actually get likes are the ones that earn likes. No exceptions.
I don’t have a ton of likes. Not compared to MC Hammer anyway. He has a lot. But I’m proud to say that I have earned every single one of them without asking…except maybe my wife. I asked her. Besides that, I have never bought or asked for a like. And I’m not going to start now.
And you shouldn’t either.
Let’s Make a Vow
How about this. Let’s both make a vow. Right now. From this point forward, no more buying likes. No more auto responders. Let’s return the integrity back to Facebook and what a like actually means.
I’m going to leave a link to my Facebook page here:
If I have offered you enough value or made you laugh or gave you an idea or made you feel good, maybe you will click on it. Maybe not. It’s up to you. I’ll still like you either way.
And I think you should do the same thing. Leave a comment below. A good one. Not something like “thanks!” or “you suck“. Add some value. And include a link to your Facebook page and if you have added enough value to the conversation maybe we’ll like your page too. Maybe not.
We’ll still like you either way. I promise.
Giant high-five to Tommy Walker of Tommy.ismy.Name fame for help and encouragement with the updated title!
Featured image courtesy of Denis Dervisevic licensed via Creative Commons.