From Now On I’m Going to Be A Dick to Everyone I Meet Online

im-gonna-be-a-dick

My family and I moved recently. And much like any big change, this one came with its share of "stuff." Some good stuff. Some bad stuff. A bunch of easy stuff. And a bunch of hard stuff. And of course, plenty of bubble wrap, broken dishes and eating pizza on the floor. The move itself was easy. The tough part came when the proverbial dust settled and we were in our new home. We made it! Our … [Read more...]

10 Reasons Why I Don’t Want to Be Your Friend Anymore

It's been a good run! We've been through a lot together, you and me. Like the time when you mentioned that you were having spaghetti for dinner, remember that? "Yumm-o!" That was classic! Or how about the time you tagged me in that post about your blog in order to get me to go to your website. Nobody loves a good "gotcha" moment more than me! You know me so well! Yup. Those were good times! But … [Read more...]

3 Dead Simple Ways to Get a Bazillion Likes on Facebook While Still in Your Pajamas (and Make Millions Doing It)

You may not have heard, but there is this new website out there called Facebook. Apparently there are something like a billion people hanging around on this thing just foaming at the mouth to buy stuff from you. In fact, they will even tell their friends to buy stuff from you as well! And the best part? You don't have to really do anything! It just kind of happens! Pretty awesome, right? … [Read more...]

How to Not Suck at Apologizing

Let’s face it. We as humans suck at apologizing. That is, when we actually do apologize, which probably isn’t as often as it should be. There is a stigma attached to it. It means that you are wrong. And you are NEVER wrong…right? Because if you are wrong it means that you are not perfect. And if you are not perfect it means that you have given up some form of power or control. And if you have … [Read more...]

How to Sell Your Crappy Product Online

It seems that every other post on Twitter and Facebook is a sales pitch from someone trying to sell a crappy product that teaches you how to sell a crappy product about how to sell a crappy product. Now, if you are anything like me, you wish there were more of these. After all, it's what this world needs, right? More crappy products. Well, wish no more my craptastic friend. What you are about to … [Read more...]

The Secret to Being Immortal

You're going to die. Not now. But eventually. You'll be remembered by your children. Your grandchildren. And if you're lucky, maybe even your great-grandchildren. Beyond that generation, you will end up like most of us wandering the Earth. Completely forgotten. As if you were never even here. All of that effort you put in at school. The years you spent building your career. The relationships. … [Read more...]

Why Are You So F#%king Mean?!?

Maybe it's because I said something you didn't want to hear. Or wrote something you didn't want to read. Maybe it's because my beliefs are different than yours. Or I have opposing values. Maybe it's as simple as how I look. Or the way I talk. Or maybe it's not me. Maybe you misinterpreted what I said. Or read it differently than what I meant. Maybe you were having a bad day. Or that's just how … [Read more...]

Me, Me, Me, I, I, I

Just so we're clear. I don't care about you. I am not going to "Like" your Facebook page. I don't follow your Tweets. I also don't read your blog. And quite frankly, I think it is a bit pretentious of you to think that I should just because you sent me an impersonal automated message asking me to. Don't get me wrong. I want to care. I want to hear what you have to say. I want to learn from you. I … [Read more...]

Stop Calling Yourself a Guru, Jedi, Rock Star and Ninja (Unless You Are a Guru, Jedi, Rock Star or Ninja)

Being an expert is cool. Think about it. You get to know everything about something without ever having to prove anything! Have more than 1,000 followers on Twitter? You are a Social Media Guru! Have you made more than $100 online? Guess who is an Internet Marketing Rock Star? Were you an early adopter on Pinterest? Consider yourself a Ninja...or should I say a "Pinja?" … [Read more...]

Once Upon a Time, Your Bio Put Me to Sleep…

Your life doesn’t suck. You do. Well, let me rephrase that. Your version of your life sucks. That convoluted scrap heap of 5 dollar words you call your biography might have gotten you a gold star and a pat on the head in your Business 101 class but not in the real world and certainly not online. It's time for you to throw out everything you have ever been taught about writing your bio and start … [Read more...]