expectations

I spend a lot of time writing these posts each week. I’m actually a little embarrassed to say how much. I don’t stop until I feel like every word is in the right place and even then I wake up the next morning only to pick it apart a little more until I actually publish it.

Why do I put myself through this torture? For you. My readers. There are 170+ million blogs on the Internet and you chose to read mine. I don’t take that lightly. I am grateful for every pair of eyeballs I get. In return I try to give you the absolute best I have in every post.

No strings attached. No expectations.

But since we’re on the subject, how come you guys don’t Tweet my posts more often? You mentioned that you liked it, but I noticed you didn’t “Like” it on Facebook…does that mean you didn’t “Like” it, like it? And since you are here already, any chance you could leave a comment every now and then? Or perhaps signup for my mailing list? It would help!

Hmmm, OK…so maybe I do have some teensy weensy expectations. But, don’t we all?

Nope. Not all of us. My friend Mike doesn’t. At least not in this particular case. And this is big enough that he should get a pass for all of the other times he did have expectations of someone else if it were up to me. Since it’s my blog, it’s up to me.

You see, Mikes wife’s friends husband (better known as Mikes friend) needs a kidney. As luck would have it, Mike has two of them. Most of us do. Unlike most of us, he’s willing to give one away. Happily. With no strings attached.

It’s kind of hard to think that he is actually removing one of his organs (with the help of a professional of course) and he has no expectations of his friend whatsoever. But I stared the guy down over an egg white omelet. It’s true. You could tell. This is not one of those “I gave you a kidney, the least you could do is pick up the tab when we go out to dinner” kind of things. Although it would be a nice gesture.

Of course, you could argue that he is benefitting in his own special way by feeling good about doing something so big for someone else, but that’s a little different. He’s not projecting that onto his friend. He has no expectations of his friend. He just feels good about doing the right thing. How can you not? You are saving the life of another human being.

I consider myself a do-gooder. I shovel the elderly neighbors driveway without being asked every winter. Even so, it still takes me well into July to stop patting myself on the back for the good deed. My kids were reprimanded for running around in their yard last week. My response? I forced my family to sit through a 20-minute diatribe over it, only to finish off with “and this is the thanks I get?”

While Mike is quietly parting with a vital part of his body, I need a town parade and a key to the city for shoveling a few inches of snow.

Well, that is about to change.

And so is this. I have gauged the success of my blog based solely on numbers. How many visitors? How many subscribers? How many comments? How many Tweets? How many “Likes”?

Stuff that doesn’t tell the real story. The impact I have had on other people.

Because of this obsession with measurement, I have occasionally written content for the sole purpose of bringing in new readers. This glaring example comes to mind. All the while, my expectations of you were pretty high. After all, you were supposed to carry me off into the sunset on your shoulders by now. Or at least Tweet about it.

Well, I’m sorry about that. Today, I am renewing my vow to you. Every single post that I write will be my absolute best. Every word that I write will have a purpose. And I promise to continually give you as much value as I have to offer.

No strings attached.

Now it’s your turn. What are the expectations you have in others? I challenge you to start cutting the strings that you have knowingly or unknowingly attached to all of the things that you do.

Do the right thing because it’s the right thing to do. That’s all. Try it. It’s harder than it sounds. Let me know how it goes…

About Marc

My name is Marc Ensign and my mission is to Save the Internet from all of the gurus, rock stars and ninjas dirtying up the place with their nonsense. I write a lot about the pitfalls of being human as well as social media and SEO. Which reminds me, if you want a new take on SEO (i.e. one that works) check out my free (and pretty awesome) SEO E-book!

  • http://www.facebook.com/mike.goldman.94 Mike Goldman

    Wow. I’m truly honored to be part of your post (I even forwarded to my mom to prove to her that I’m famous!) and even more honored to consider you a friend.
    Whether it’s my kidney or your writing, giving from a deeply emotional place is its own reward. If I had the same love of and talent for writing you do, maybe I wouldn’t have to give away so many damned internal organs!!

    • http://www.marcensign.com/blog Marc Ensign

      Jeez, it’s the least I could do…it’s been stuck in my head since breakfast on Friday. You’re a good man Charlie Brown. Just think of the lesson you are teaching your kids. This decision has a spiral effect that you don’t even realize yet. It’s the butterfly effect…only with stitches.

  • http://www.websitebegin.com Joe Boyle

    What a man that Mike guy is. They’re the real heroes of society that nobody really ever values. It’s pretty sad. The guy who makes the next social network gets a lot more attention than the guy who gives up his kidney to allow somebody’s life to continue. Pretty messed up, but that’s how the world goes.

    On my old rendition of my website (before I closed the curtain in 2010), I wrote a post about why Google Analytics was so worthless – it sends people into a spiral of a craze about numbers. What value do these numbers have, anyway? I mean, they do, but if you’re doing what you love, why does it matter how many people visit your website, where they come from, or anything?

    I never wanted to earn money from it back then, and so I never used ads or affiliate links. I think I really hit it spot-on when I was asked why I never monetized. My response was, simply, that I enjoyed doing what I was doing, and money wasn’t needed. So why tear apart what I created just for something I don’t want?

    Helping people is far superior to the cash you can bring in, and even the greediest of people know it. Excellent post, Mark.

    • http://www.marcensign.com/blog Marc Ensign

      I think there is a place for all of it. There’s nothing wrong with making money with something you are passionate about as long as you don’t start making decisions based on that alone and it sways you in the wrong direction. Selling your organs however wouldn’t be recommended :)

      • http://www.websitebegin.com Joe Boyle

        Ever read about the Chinese kid who sold his organ for an iPad? Sounds like fun.

        • http://www.marcensign.com/blog Marc Ensign

          In all fairness, it depends on the organ. Not to mention, was it a 3G? How much space? It’s all in the details Joe! (kidding of course)

          • http://www.websitebegin.com Joe Boyle

            For a 3G, I’d give my heart! It actually worked out pretty well for him, if I remember correctly. I believe he got pretty sick and then sued. He was 13 at best, his parents didn’t know it happened, and I believe the “surgeon” wasn’t licensed. Not too bad of a gig (;

  • Simon Thompson

    I love it when you talk human Marc. I liked this piece. There may be millions of bloggers out there but have you tried to read their work? There are only a few worth reading and you are one of them.

    • http://www.marcensign.com/blog Marc Ensign

      Thank you Simon! This made my day: “There are only a few worth reading and you are one of them.”

  • http://pegfitzpatrick.com/ Peg Fitzpatrick

    “What are the expectations you have in others? I challenge you to start cutting the strings that you have knowingly or unknowingly attached to all of the things that you do.” I am thinking about this. This shall take time to pondering. Thanks for making me think, Marc.

    Great post and fantastic concept.

    • http://www.marcensign.com/blog Marc Ensign

      Happy to make you think…how is the pondering going?

      • http://pegfitzpatrick.com/ Peg Fitzpatrick

        The pondering never stops for me…

        • http://www.marcensign.com/blog Marc Ensign

          Interesting. I’ll have to ponder that.

          • http://pegfitzpatrick.com/ Peg Fitzpatrick

            Let me know how it goes…

          • http://www.marcensign.com/blog Marc Ensign

            It went.

          • http://pegfitzpatrick.com/ Peg Fitzpatrick

            Fantastic.

          • http://www.marcensign.com/blog Marc Ensign

            Always have to get the last word in, don’t you?

  • Jonathan

    I am loving your blogs so far one because i am learning a lot, but really because you are educating me on a lot of stuff and with that i feel more empowered.

    Thank you for doing your blog Mark.

    • http://www.marcensign.com/blog Marc Ensign

      Thank you Jonathan! I don’t remember seeing you around here, so welcome!!!! And thank you for the kind words! It means a lot!

  • http://www.facebook.com/Hypchick Dana Christensen

    Well said.

    • http://www.marcensign.com/blog Marc Ensign

      Thank you Dana! :)

  • gab bernal

    ur ryt marc. very well said :)

    • http://www.marcensign.com/blog Marc Ensign

      Thanks Gab!