For those that do not know what search engine optimization is, search engine optimization is the act of optimizing your website for search engines in order to increase your search engine ranking on all of the major search engines.

I have been a search engine optimization speaker, author and consultant for nearly 10 years which, by definition, makes me a great search engine optimization speaker, author and consultant. So please hand over your credit card information now in order to hire me to be your search engine optimization speaker, author and consultant. Thank you and I look forward to working with you as your search engine optimization speaker, author and consultant.

Was that as painful for you to read as it was for me to write?

Yet, this is what traditional SEO at its best (or worst) looks like. And you don’t have to look very far to find it. Replace the words “search engine optimization speaker, author and consultant” in the text above with “New Jersey landscaper” and I can probably find a dozen or so websites with the same content on their homepage.

Why do you think Google is constantly changing their algorithm?

Traditional Search Engine Optimization

You see, here’s the problem. The goal of traditional search engine optimization is to trick Google into thinking you are important and valuable enough for the first page. The keywords here are trick and thinking. When taken too far, there is no integrity in this method.

Just look at how it works…

“Extensive” Keyword Research
We begin our research with one thought in mind. Find keywords with the most traffic and the least amount of competition. Period. No thought is given to the actual human beings that are searching those keywords. Just the traffic that comes with them. In other words, we just want to draw in as many warm bodies as our Go Daddy hosting account will allow. Who cares whether they are qualified visitors or not.

Stuff Those Keywords Into Your Content
Somewhere there is a formula that states that we should insert those keywords into our text every 3.5 syllables. The result is what we in the biz call “search engine friendly content.” And what the people that actually read it call “incoherent drivel.” Instead of coming across as incredibly talented in our field, we sound as if English was our third language.

Pitch, Pitch, Pitch, Sell, Sell, Sell
With little proof of our accomplishments, beyond that verbal pat on the back we insist on giving ourselves, we begin beating people over the head with our sole purpose for creating our website. The sales pitch. The chance to convert each visitor into something that adds some form of value to us. A client, a member, a subscriber or a sale. That’s what it’s really about for us. But not for them.

Link Building
While waiting for that flood of new clients to come rolling in, we spend the rest of our time building links. Or perhaps hiring someone to build links. It doesn’t really matter who does it as long as there are lots of them. The idea is that if there are enough (crappy) websites linking to ours, Google will confuse our website with one that is actually important.

And does all of that work?

I’m supposed to say no, but sadly, sometimes it does. Of course, that’s assuming that your goal is to increase your traffic. Not necessarily your business.

There’s a problem though. Even if it were to work today, there is no guarantee that it will still work tomorrow. You see, Google is constantly changing their algorithm in order to find the best answer to the question being searched. And that ultimately means weeding out this type of crappy technique.

But There is a Better Way…

It’s what I call Search Engine Humanization. And unlike traditional SEO, the goal of SEH is to be more important and valuable and you will live on the first page. With an emphasis on be and live.

You see, there is a big difference between ranking on page one and living on page one. When you live on page one you don’t need a Plan B. Amazon.com doesn’t have a search engine Plan B just in case they get blacklisted by Google, because they won’t get blacklisted by Google. They live there. Legitimately.

Here’s the difference…

“Extensive” People Research
Instead of looking for the “right” keywords, we are looking for the “right” visitors. Our ideal clients. The ones that can move the needle for us. And once we know who they are, we can better understand what they need, how they search and what they expect when they land on our website. We don’t care about traffic. We care about the right traffic.

Answer Questions in Your Content
Rather than filling our pages with keywords, we fill our pages with answers. Answers to the questions that our ideal clients are searching for. So, not only will they find us, but when they do, they will see us as a valuable resource that is answering the questions they are searching for.

Value, Value, Value
By offering up the best answer to the question being searched, we are adding so much value that we don’t have to sell. Visitors will see us as their resident expert. The only company out there willing to give away such value without asking for anything in return. No hard sell. No pushy call to action. Just enough value that they want to buy from us.

Natural Link Building
Because you have added so much value, you don’t have to bother with link building anymore. Instead, you have built a community of soldiers out there doing your link building for you. Naturally. Sharing your content in their social communities, blogging about it, commenting on it, sending it out to friends, etc.

But It’s Not All Sunshine, Rainbows and Lollipops

There is no doubt that Search Engine Humanization is a better way. But it’s not that as simple as that. Search Engine Humanization takes longer. Much longer. In fact, it will likely take you ten times longer than traditional SEO because it is ten times harder. But it is also 100 times more effective and will get you 100 times the results.

So, if you are willing to put in a little extra effort for a lot more success, now is the time to change your way of thinking.

And if you are open enough to changing your way of thinking and want to dig deeper, just download a copy of Search Engine Humanization for free right now and learn more!

The bad news is that you are no longer allowed to use Facebook or Twitter. Or Google Plus. Maybe even LinkedIn, we’re still debating that one. You can keep Pinterest though. None of us really like Pinterest.

It’s nothing personal. You’re just kind of annoying a bunch of us and we want you to stop before you ruin it for everybody.

Now, before you throw one of your little tantrums and take your proverbial basketball and go home, I also have some good news! Just think of all of the new opportunities this will bring you! Why, with all of this newfound spare time, you will finally have a chance to dedicate more energy to your other hobbies like building model airplanes and stamp collecting! I know, pinch me, right?

I don’t want you to think I’m treating you unjustly, so I put together these 14 reasons why you are no longer allowed to Social Media.

1) You Are a Sucky Human Being

Social media is about building relationships and connecting with people. So, when you walk into the room with your “what’s in it for me” attitude, don’t be too surprised when the rest of us run in the opposite direction. You’re the Social Media equivalent of that weird uncle that shows up to family gatherings every few years and tries to sell everyone insurance. Only in this case it’s some crappy info product. And if the only value you have to offer is a link to that crappy product you are desperately trying to unload, it might be a good time to find another profession. Taking over for Mother Theresa is a little out of reach.

2) You Don’t “Get” It

If you don’t “get” social media, then you are clearly over-thinking it. It’s fairly simple. There is a box. That box asks you “What’s happening?” Type something in that box. Click the button. Repeat throughout the course of the day. Wake up tomorrow and do it again. It’s really not that complicated.

3) You Don’t Have Enough Time

I get it. You’re busy. Much too busy running into burning buildings and saving puppies in your spare time to be bothered with stuff like Social Media. Tweet this. Like that. Pin this. Share that. I know, it’s exhausting. My thumbs hurt just thinking about it. Perhaps if you stopped using Facebook to watch cat videos you might have more time. Just saying.

4) You Take “Social Media ROI” Seriously

Most companies see Social Media as a sales or direct marketing tool. That’s probably why they suck at it. Social Media is the modern day water cooler. A way for you to communicate and connect with the people around you. Only now, everyone is around you! It’s where the people that don’t buy something are equally as important as the ones that do. And in some cases they are actually more important. Trying to measure some type of return on those relationships cheapens them. Think about it. Do you like being on the receiving end of the equation? Where you are nothing more than another tick mark on some giant corporations conversion chart? Or do you prefer to be treated like a human being?

5) You’re a Bit of an Asshole

Sorry to be so blunt about it, but there are some of you out there that are just a bunch of assholes. And you act as though it were your mission in life to prove it. Look, we all have opinions. The difference is that you force yours on my friends and me by making some borderline racist or otherwise insensitive remark on my wall in response to something positive that I posted. And now, because you felt it necessary to use me to dust off your 1930′s way of thinking, you have put me in the precarious position of either censoring your stupid comment or leaving it there so everyone I know will assume we both think like cavemen.

6) You Are Only Doing it for the Benefit of SEO

It’s true. There are some benefits to Social Media outside of building relationships. And search engine optimization is one of them. But if the only reason that you are spending your time on Twitter or Facebook is to verbally barf up links to your website, it’s not going to work. It’s simple math:

• You + Sharing Links to Your Own Website = :(
• Me + Sharing Links to Your Website = :)
• Us + Sharing Links to Your Website = :D

In other words, linking to your own website is not going to get it done. You need all of your friends and followers to share your links for it to be of any value. The problem is that we only share extraordinary content. Not your lame Twinfomercials!

7) You Have Nothing Valuable to Say

A word of advise. When it’s only valuable to you, it’s not valuable. You have to have something to offer the community. Maybe it’s advice. Or a good laugh. Or your friendship. Or a new way to look at an old problem. Something that is going to make the rest of us look forward to what you have to say because it is worth something to the rest of us. And no, retweeting yourself is not it. Keep thinking.

8) You Are an Expert

But first, a public service announcement:

“The expert, guru, rock star, ninja, Jedi and diva quota on Twitter has been filled. We will notify you of additional availability once a spot has opened. You are currently number 423,651,991 in line. We thank you for your interest.” 

The truth is that there are maybe a dozen or so actual experts roaming the planet. Maybe. And no offense, but I’m pretty sure that you are not one of them. I know I’m not. And I’m OK with that. Do you know the best way to tell if someone is not an expert? They call themselves an expert! True experts are much too humble to actually label themselves like that.

9) All You Do is Quote Other People

Don’t get me wrong. Inspirational quotes are great. But if I have to read that damn quote about learning to dance in the rain one more time I am going to personally beat you over the head with your umbrella.

10) You Use Some Form of “I Follow Back” in Your Bio.

This is your chance to talk about what you have to offer. How you can best serve the community. And what do you come up with? “I am just another blank face and empty voice in that pile of followers that already don’t pay attention to you.” Really? This is your chance. A unique opportunity to set your own worth and share it with the world, and what have you chosen? “Worthless.” Nice job.

11) You Purchase Likes, Follows, Pins or Views

I’ll never understand this one. What is the point of buying friends? Other than to prove to your high school gym teacher that you turned out popular and didn’t have to learn how to use a lacrosse stick to get there of course. These friends that you are buying are fake. Most of them are not real accounts and the ones that are don’t pay attention to a word you say. Let me ask you this. Do you also give free seminars to rows of your childhood stuffed animals? Why not? It’s not that much different.

12) Your Posts Tend to Be Very Snarky and Obnoxious

12) You Flex Your Social Muscle

This is an excerpt from an actual review I read online the other day:

“I have over 500 Facebook friends, and I will also warn them all about getting ripped off by you!”

Well, look at you Mr. Popularity! You know, it’s not so much the number of friends you have or the fact that you actually think that number holds some sort of weight that bugs me. It’s the idea that you have made it your mission to bring down a billion dollar company because you didn’t feel that the person behind the front desk did a good enough job of kissing your ass. So you drag the rest of us into your fight with you. Now we’re all stuck listening to you whine about it in between those riveting posts about your kids or the pictures you take of your dinner. It’s the modern day David and Goliath…only this time I’m pretty sure Goliath will take this one.

13) The Only Time I Hear From You is Through an Invitation

I was invited to join a Facebook group the other day that was entitled “Women with Heart.” If you really need me to elaborate on this one I will, but I think that pretty much says all it needs to.

14) You Take the Last One…

I can’t just end on number 13. My superstitious OCD brain won’t allow it. So, this next one is yours. In the comments below, give it your best shot. The winner will receive something really awesome with absolutely no tangible value whatsoever. I’m not sure what it will be, but I’m pretty sure the instant gratification of knowing you beat out everyone else will be worth much more.

Now, let’s see what you got!

And like most visitors, I try to be polite about this sort of thing by giving you the ole “it’s not you, it’s me” routine as I leave your website. Secretely wishing I could have the last two minutes of my life back. But this is not that kind of party. This time, it is you.

Don’t believe me? Let’s try a little experiment, shall we?

I want you to print out the text on your homepage in all its glory. Carry it with you wherever you go and the next time you are in front of an ideal client that you have never met, I want you to read it. As written.

Every craptastic word of it.

See how their eyes are darting around the room? That’s called “looking for an exit.” In other words, they are searching for the fastest way to get away from you. And unless you just bit into an onion, it has everything to do with that senseless drivel spewing from your mouth.

That same boring crap found on your website.

“So What? Google Doesn’t Care How Boring My Content Is”

Good point. But contrary to popular belief, search engine optimization does not end when the link to your website has made it to the top of the heap of a few Google searches. It ends when a visitor takes some form of action after clicking that link.

That action might be to call you. Or maybe subscribe to your blog. It could be to share something you said. Or click the “Buy Now” button and hand over their credit card number to you. There are dozens of positive actions your visitors could be taking.

Unfortunately, they are not. Instead, the action most take is to click the back button on their browser never to return to your website again. I’m guessing that’s not quite what you had in mind.

So, why did they leave? Was it your design? Your product or service? Your prices?

Or was it you? The personality (or lack thereof) that you’ve chosen to display on your website?

In the few minutes they spent on your site, you lulled them to sleep. The content on your homepage, internal page, blog post or even that free e-book you are peddling just didn’t cut it.

It was OK. Ordinary. Good enough.

And Therein Lies the Problem…

You see, visitors don’t read OK. They don’t share ordinary. And they don’t buy from good enough.

If you want Google to take notice of you and see you as an authority, you need your visitors to read, share and link to your website. And the only way to get them to do that is to give them what they are really looking for.

Extraordinary.

Visitors are searching for something extraordinary. And if you want that to be you, you’d better have something significant to say…and you’d better be damn good at saying it.

That’s how you inspire people to take action.

Each industry needs at least one. Someone extraordinary. They aren’t always the best writers. They don’t always employ the biggest teams. And they don’t always have the highest marketing budgets.

But they don’t have to. They are extraordinary.

They didn’t become extraordinary by accident. They weren’t born extraordinary. They didn’t hire someone to make them extraordinary.

They created extraordinary.

The good news is that there are a lot of ways you can be extraordinary. The even gooder news is that I’m going to give you a few…

Trust

There is plenty of talk out there about trust. Positioning yourself in such a way that your visitors, prospects and clients trust you. It’s great stuff. I highly recommend it. But that’s not the trust I’m talking about here.

I’m talking about you trusting them. Your visitors, prospects and clients.

Trust begins with you.

With you standing in front of the room naked. Letting down your guard. Being vulnerable. Showing your visitors who you really are. And connecting with them on a different level. As a human being rather than a corporate entity led by some cleverly polished sales guy.

It’s a risk to put yourself out there, I get that. Will some visitors break that trust? Probably. Does that mean you should not trust any of them? Absolutely not.

Trust is a gift that you should be freely giving away to anyone that stumbles upon your website. Unconditionally. With no strings attached.  And being at peace with the outcome, whether they buy from you or not.

Be Unpopular

Your mother was just being nice. Not everybody loves you. Nor will they. You are an acquired taste, and that’s a good thing. When you are busy trying to please everyone, you end up pleasing no one.

In other words, stop sitting in the middle of the fence. Pick a side. You look rediculous. Besides, I can’t imagine it’s very comfortable.

It’s not easy. I know that first hand. My last post left me with a bloody lip thanks to a few folks on Reddit. People will disagree with you. They will argue with you. They will bad mouth you. And they will call you names.

But that’s OK.

You see, being unpopular with one group makes you very popular with another. And that is the group you want to connect with. That is the group that will appreciate what you have to say. That is the group that will share your message with other likeminded people.

And that is the group that will be instrumental in helping you grow your community.

Lead the Conversation

I think Vanilla Ice put it best when he so elequently said “stop, collaborate and listen” (before stealing the rest from Queen and David Bowie).

We tend to think of our website as our own personal space. Our soapbox. The one place on this planet where we get to stand up and do all of the talking and none of the listening.

Wrong.

This digital space should be shared. It should be a conversation, not a lecture. Stop trying to be the resident smarty pants by monopolizing it and being the only voice.

Lead it.

Share your knowledge. Pose the question. Make people think. And then get out of the way. Be clear that you are there to learn as well. You don’t know everything. And the fact that you can be a little vulnerable and put that out there is a great opportunity. One that your visitors will appreciate and respect.

By making this space a conversation where you are allowing them to agree, disagree and even teach you are giving your visitors ownership. And when you give them ownership, they will become your biggest advocates.

Give a Shit

You would think this one is pretty obvious but you’d be surprised at how many of you come across as if you just don’t care. And if you don’t appear to care about your visitors, how can they possibly care about you?

When all you do is sell on your website, what you are essentially saying is that it doesn’t matter what they need. You aren’t there to solve their problem (unless of course solving their problem requires buying your solution).

When you show your visitors that you care about their needs more than you care about your own, they will do more than buy your product or service. They will rave about it. They will share it. They will write about it.

They will get your message out.

What Is All of This Really About?

The fact is that you can’t do this alone. You need your visitors to not just read but share and spread your message. In fact, you need them more than they need you.

The actions your visitors take (or don’t take) are directly related to your authority online. And if you read Search Engine Humanization you know how important authority is!

Lose one visitor and you are losing much more than just a hit on your website. You are losing an opportunity.

And who knows what that opportunity might have brought.

So, now it’s your turn. It’s your turn to share what makes you extraordinary. Or perhaps what you need to change to be extraordinary. Maybe you want to agree with this post. Or even disagree. Or even teach me a thing or two.

I’m open. I trust you.

In an effort to get your website in front of as many eyeballs as possible, you turn to search engine optimization as your savior. Following the advice of the nearest SEO Guru, you enthusiastically approach your keyword research in order to find “the right” words to target. The ones with the most traffic and the least competition. With the precision and grace of a wrecking ball, you weave each of these phrases into your content and wait for the “blizzard” of traffic you were promised.

But that “blizzard” ends up being more of a dusting. And although your ranking and traffic seem to have increased slightly, the only measurement that really counts didn’t. Your phone still isn’t ringing.

What happened to that fairy tale ending you were promised?

Here’s What Really Happened…

Using the exact same keyword research tool as everyone else, you came up with the exact same list of highly competitive words as everyone else. Shocker. With the Internet nearing one billion websites, you would have a better chance of finding The Loch Ness Monster dancing the cha-cha with Sasquatch than you would finding a keyword phrase that gets loads of traffic without much competition.

Next, you took the keyword phrases that you found and wrote pages and pages of “SEO friendly content” which is just a fancy shmancy way of saying ”sales text that is crammed full of keywords in an effort to make Google happy when all it really does is make you sound like English is your third language.”

With me so far? Good.

Now, within a reasonable amount of time you may find yourself ranking well for some of these keywords resulting in a slight increase in traffic. And yet an increase in your bounce rate as well. In other words, the new visitors that are now able to find you don’t seem to like you. They don’t want to hire you. They don’t want to buy from you. And they aren’t telling their friends about you.

What’s the Problem?

It all started with your keyword research. Your entire strategy was developed around Google instead of actual human beings. You researched words that Google found to be popular. You wrote text that you felt Google would find valuable. But you never asked yourself who you were targeting and what they actually needed.

Those new visitors were nothing more than unqualified tick marks on your analytics chart. They aren’t connecting with you because your content was never really meant for them. It’s as if they walked in on someone else’s conversation. And that’s going to continue to happen regardless of how well you rank unless you change your strategy.

The year of the search engine is over. It is now the year of the visitor. (Tweet This!)

Focus on them. Give them what they want. Teach them what they are here to learn. Answer their questions. Look them in the proverbial eye and speak directly to them.

In other words, give a shit about them. Focus all of your energy on solving their problems instead of solving your problems.

Pull the thorn out of their side and you will succeed on all levels. Including your search engine ranking.

This is What I Call People Research

People research is the act of discovering who your ideal clients are and how to attract them by learning how they search and what their expectations are once they land on your website.

This is what you do when you stop focusing on the quantity of your traffic and start focusing on the quality of your traffic.

It’s about getting to know them inside and out including:

• Knowing what language they speak
• Knowing what problems they need solved
• Knowing how to meet their expectations
• Knowing how to connect with them
• Knowing what words they are searching

It’s knowing this information that is going to give you a leg up on your competition. Not a list of keywords.

People Research in Three Simple Steps

While keyword research is about targeting words, people research is about targeting people. Actual human beings. The same ones that are likely to hire you if they are able to connect with you.

This can be done in three simple steps.

Step 1
Let’s start by creating a list of our ideal clients. There could be several factors that might make someone an ideal client such as:

• They are very profitable
• They are easy to work with
• They need the type of work you like doing most
• They give a lot of referrals
• They are big players in their industry
• They share their experiences on social media
• They offer a lot of repeat business

Here are some ways to help you start to find some of these ideal clients:

Existing Clients: Have you already been in business for a little while? Search through your existing client base and write down the names of your best clients. Not just the ones who make you the most money, but the ones who are easy to work with. The ones who come back to purchase often. The ones who give you a lot of referrals. The ones who make you think, “if I only had more of these…”

Competitor’s Clients: Take a long hard look at the website of one of your more successful competitors and jot down the names of some of their clients. Chances are if they are posting them on their site, it is a client they are proud of. Meaning it is likely one of their ideal clients. We’re not out to steal from them but that doesn’t mean that we can’t learn from them!

Use Your Imagination: Grab a pen and paper and get away from the computer for a few minutes. Don’t worry, Facebook will still be there when you get back. Now, close your eyes and let your mind wander off thinking about your ideal workday. What is your favorite thing to do within the business? If you are a graphic designer, is it logo design? Website design? Catalogs? Think through the things you love to do and then start to paint a picture of the person who needs this service.

Step 2
Once you have your basic list of ideal clients, it’s time to get to know them a little better. Answer these questions as best you can for each. If you are able to interview actual ideal clients for these answers, even better!

• What is their age range?
• What gender are they? Does it matter?
• What is their education level?
• Where are they located? (city, state and/or country)
• Do they have a specific occupation or position within a company? If so, what is it?
• What types of questions or challenges do they have?
• What is important to them? (e.g.. price, quality, timeframe, etc.)
• What do they struggle with most?

Do this for each type of client that you want to do business with. Not just that you can do business with.

Step 3
Once you are able to answer these questions for each of your ideal clients, the next step is to tell their story. I know this sounds a little loopy, but do it anyway. Give them a name. Write their bio. Make them human. Because out there, they are.

Here’s an example taken from the book Search Engine Humanization:

Meet Pete Peterson. He’s a small business owner located in northern New Jersey. He has a small budget but respects and understands the value of a good website. Because of that he is not interested in a do-it-yourself or template solution, nor does he want to go with a large agency that is going to charge him five figures. He has a basic understanding of how things work but is looking for a vendor whom he can trust to grab the ball and run with it. He has too much on his plate already to have to hold someone else’s hand. He is an avid researcher, which makes him an educated client. He is a nice guy who appreciates small talk and not just all business. Once Pete finds the right vendor, he will be with him or her forever.

This bio tells us a lot about Pete. We have a good idea of his budget (he’s not looking for the cheapest solution, nor the most expensive). We know quality is important (he’s not interested in a template or a do-it-yourself solution). We know what he is looking for when he gets to your website (he’s an avid researcher, so he likely found his way to your website while looking for answers and would like to see more). We know he is looking for a relationship, not just a vendor (he appreciates small talk and will stay with the same company forever). And much more.

Knowing all this information about Pete will no doubt affect the language you use throughout the pages of your site. It will affect what you write about, the questions you answer and most importantly, the words you use…the same words Pete searches. It will help you attract more clients like Pete, from the minute they begin their search until they hire you. And because Pete is an ideal client, having more just like him is exactly what your business needs.

Keyword Research Versus People Research

Suppose you were doing your traditional keyword research when you stumbled upon the term Website Design Firm that appears to get a significant amount of traffic without being too competitive. You in turn write several pages of content relevant to that term with the thought of ranking well for it.

The problem is Pete. If you remember, he was on a pretty tight budget. Enough so that we specified that he was not looking for a big agency. Because of that, we can determine it’s fairly unlikely that he will search terms like Website Design Firm or Website Design Agency because the words “firm” and “agency” tend to cater to larger organizations.

He is much more likely to search Website Design Company or even get local and search New Jersey Website Design Company knowing a local shop is more in line with what he is looking for.

If your goal was to attract Pete as a new client, traditional keyword research would not have gotten it done. It required extensive people research and having a clear vision of your ideal clients to have attracted Pete and other visitors just like him. In other words, ideal clients.

At the end of the day, unless you are selling page impressions, it really doesn’t matter how much traffic you get if it’s the wrong traffic. Targeting people instead of words will help you get closer to your goal of meeting those that want to do business with you. But better than that, people that you want to do business with as well.

Are You Up For A Challenge?

Now it’s your turn. That’s right, it’s time for some homework. Come up with a bio for one of your ideal clients and add it to the comments below with a link to your website. Not only will it help you by building a legitimate link to your website (something we’ll talk about later) but more importantly, it will get you started with this exercise.

I promise to dig through every ideal client profile posted here give you my feedback and recommendations. Perhaps the others within the community will as well! That’s a hint people within the community!

That’s right. You shouldn’t use any. If the deciding factor of whether or not to spend your time on Facebook over Twitter or LinkedIn over Pinterest solely comes down to which will bring you the highest ROI, you need your hand slapped and your computer taken away from you. And maybe even a disapproving look.

You may hate this next part, but I’m going to say it anyway. There is no such thing as a return on investment for social media.

Of all things that keep your business running each day, why do you choose this one to measure in order to see the value that it brings? Do you calculate the ROI on your office phone system? Or how about that new leather couch in the waiting room? Or the art on the wall of the conference room? Or even the receptionist answering the phone?

All of these things play a roll in how your business runs, don’t they? Just because you can’t chart out their value does not mean that you should get rid of them.

This is the Part Where You Disagree and Call Me Names

The argument is often that without some type of measurement, how can you justify where you are spending your time to your boss, your clients and even yourself?

You can’t.

So instead of just being OK with the fact that we don’t have a specific measurement, we solve this little dilemma by creating fancy words like “engagement” in order to make us all feel like there is a tangible goal waiting for us at the end of this whole social media maze.

But there is not. Sorry.

There is no finish line. No goal post. No target.

Social media cannot be defined by action steps or to-dos. There is no formula or road-map. It is not something that you can schedule or measure. And you can’t buy it or fake it.

This is the Part Where Your Mind Gets Blown

Social media is not Facebook or Twitter. Pinterest or LinkedIn. YouTube or MySpace…it’s definitely not MySpace. These sites are not social media. These sites are a vehicle.

Social media is you. And me. And that annoying guy that’s always trying to sell you some piece of crap information product. And the woman who posts all of those cat videos. It’s your best friend. And that guy from your high school football team that never said a word to you back in the day but is now always commenting on your status. It’s the people that you have never met in person and yet you would offer them your couch if they needed a place to stay. And it’s your family that you have known your whole life and yet you would never think of offering them your couch if they needed a place to stay.

Social media is about relationships.

How do you quantify that? How do you create a pretty graph that shows the return on investment for your relationships? You don’t calculate the ROI of your marriage, do you? Because if you did you probably wouldn’t be married anymore. What is the ROI of your parents? Your friends? Co-workers? Neighbors? What is the return on investment of that stranger you are sitting next to on the subway?

You don’t calculate the ROI for relationships because there is none. And since social media is all about building relationships wouldn’t that mean that there is no return on investment for social media?

This is the Part Where I Cleverly Use an Example to Support My Position

When the lights went out the night of the Superbowl, the agency handling the Oreos social media campaign was on it. They posted a Tweet about dunking in the dark. It was awesome. The timing was perfect. And the idea was brilliant. They were carried off the field on the proverbial shoulders of marketing geeks like myself as this one little Tweet was shared over a hundred thousand times in what seemed like seconds.

And rightfully so.

Yet, do you know how many more Oreos they sold that night because of that Tweet? Around zero. Do you know how many more Oreos they were hoping to sell that night because of that Tweet? Around zero.

The purpose of that Tweet was not to get us to bum rush the store looking for Oreos during the game. It was to connect to us. To let us see Oreo as more than just a cookie. To show us that Oreos could actually be our cool friend.

Maybe someday someone will be standing in the cookie aisle stuck between choosing a box of Oreos and a box of Nutter Butters. And maybe that person will feel more of a connection to Oreos because of that Tweet or because they are connected on Twitter or Facebook. And maybe that will be the deciding factor that gets them to buy the Oreos.

Maybe. Maybe not.

It doesn’t matter. How would you even attribute that particular sale to that particular Tweet anyway? You can’t.

But just because you can’t doesn’t make social media a waste of time. Just because you can’t doesn’t make it meaningless. And just because you can’t doesn’t mean that you stop.

Instead, you should continue to connect with people and build relationships without some ulterior motive of “what’s in it for me?”

This is the Part Where I Tie This Whole Thing Up in a Pretty Little Bow

Social media is hard enough without the added pressure of charts and graphs. Or deadlines and milestones. It’s just as difficult if not more so than making real friends in real life.

And that can be tough!

Think back to high school. Imagine if someone was following you around monitoring your every move. Get turned down by a girl? Called a name while in the shower in gym? Stand in front of the class with your fly down? All converted into a nice little chart to display how ineffective you were at making new friends this week.

You would likely just give up. Study your butt off and get through school however you had to and then move on.

And this is what happens with social media. There are hundreds of thousands of people, brands and companies out there that want to get involved. They want to reach out. They want to connect. And they want to build relationships.

But they are scared.

Scared they are doing it wrong. Or it’s not worth the effort. Or they don’t know what they are doing. Or they just plain forgot how to be human beings when sitting in front of the computer.

So they don’t even try.

Or worse. In an effort to make their “engagement” chart look good, they buy followers. They spam their friends. Trick people into clicking their link. They use social media to sell, sell, sell.

They don’t even try to build relationships. And so they end up worse off than when they started. But at least the chart looks good.

And then there are those that get it. They build real relationships. They have friends that they care about even though they have never met. They help others. And they have no expectations of what they get in return.

Those are the ones that are doing it right. And if you ask them what their social media return on investment is, I bet they have no clue.

This is the Part Where You Respond in the Comments That You Either Loved or Hated This Post

Like that time in Austin, Texas when you were sleepwalking through the hallways of that hotel. Because you didn’t have your glasses on, you couldn’t see the numbers on the door and weren’t able to find your way back to the room. And you were naked. Now that’s the kind of stupid I’m talking about.

We all…wait, are you saying I am the only one that happened to?

(Insert awkward silence here)

Well, regardless. The specifics don’t matter. My point is that we all do some pretty stupid stuff. All of us.

And that includes a lot of the actions you take in your quest to increase the traffic to your website. In fact, even with the best of intentions, many of the things you are doing to help your website are actually hurting it.

So, in an effort to stop you from the proverbial naked stroll through the hallway (whatever the search engine optimization equivalent of that is), here are eight of the stupidest mistakes you make when optimizing your website.

Stupid Mistake #1: Rely on SEO for All of Your Traffic

Search engines can’t be ignored. We all get that. But what most of us may not know is that search engines only amount to an average of about 40% of our traffic each month. And if my math is correct, that means 60% of our traffic comes from other sources like referrals, e-mail marketing, social media, offline marketing and several other methods.

Search engines are merely piece of the puzzle. Granted, they are a big piece, but if your plan is to rely solely on search engines for all of your traffic, you are setting yourself up for failure.

The problem with focusing all of your efforts on search engine traffic is that it puts you in a very vulnerable position. Search engine results are fluid. There are a lot of moving parts. A change in the algorithm or an aggressive competitor is sometimes all it takes to knock you off page one, possibly putting you out of business if there is no Plan B.

A successful strategy for increasing traffic is one that includes several other online methods including:

• A consistent e-mail marketing plan
• A small (but strategic) Adwords campaign
• A strong social media presence
• A valuable and informative blog

But that’s not enough. You should also have an offline strategy for driving traffic to your website as well. For example:

• Local networking events where you can meet other like-minded professionals
• Direct mail that drives people to your website for information or discounts
• Speaking engagements
• Writing articles for locals newspapers and magazines

Not all of these are going to work for every possible industry, but you can’t cross it off your list until you have at least tried it and have proof that it doesn’t work. So try everything.

Diversifying your traffic in such a way will make you invincible to any environmental or technological changes online.

Stupid Mistake #2: Optimize Your Site Using Keywords Based on Traffic and Competition

For most of us, search engine optimization is all about targeting the right keywords. The idea is that if you can find keyword phrases that are high in traffic but low in competition you won’t have a care in the world. Not so.

Ranking well for a keyword only because it gets a lot traffic is not a good enough reason to optimize your site for it. Last I checked, traffic does not pay the rent. Quality visitors interested in purchasing your product or service do. Which would you rather have? One hundred visitors a day with no interest in what you are offering or one visitor a day ready to make a purchase?

What I am suggesting is to see the problem a little differently. Rather than doing extensive keyword research to find words to target, try doing extensive people research to find the specific types of visitors you want to target.

Knowing more about the people you want to target will help you determine a lot about how they search and what they expect to see when they get to your site. For example:

• You know what language to speak
• You know what problems they need solved
• You know what words they are searching
• You know how to exceed their expectations
• You know how to connect with them

Speaking to visitors in their language, solving their problems, using the words they are searching, exceeding their expectations and connecting with them is how you build a relationship through search. And we all know that people like to do business with those they feel a connection to.

It’s just an added bonus that, because you specifically targeted them, they are people that you want to do business with as well!

Stupid Mistake #3: Think SEO Stops as Soon as Someone Lands on Your Website

When it comes to search engine optimization, there is so much talk about how to get visitors to your site but very little about what to do with them when they get there. If you don’t have a specific plan for your visitors once they land on your site, all of your efforts are wasted.

We all know that a website is a sales tool. But that doesn’t mean you have to make your visitors feel as though they are being sold to at every turn. If your website is the digital equivalent of that annoying pre-pubescent teen standing at the doorway of The Gap trying to upsell you on a belt, it’s time for a change.

New visitors land on your site in an effort to solve a problem. Their problem, not yours. So when you start out by trying too hard to sell them or give them the 100-year history of your company, chances are that you are going to lose them. Even if you have the solution to their problem.

First and foremost, your website needs to:

• Educate visitors
• Position you as an expert in your industry
• Give your visitors a voice by allowing them to leave comments on your blog
• Showcase your quality of work through images and videos
• Increase your credibility through your design and testimonials

Make sure that you are setting specific goals of what you want your visitors to do and be sure you are measuring them (without making “Stupid Mistake #4″ of course).

Stupid Mistake #4: Spend Too Much Time Looking At Reports and Analytics

This was a typical day in the life of my blog. I would first publish a new post before counting to five and running over to Google Analytics to see my stats. Next, I would Tweet the post and refresh Google Analytics again to see if anyone clicked on the Tweet that I just posted four seconds earlier. Finally, I would share it on Facebook and then, you guessed it, check Google Analytics again.

Sound familiar?

This would go on throughout the course of the day. Every day. Weekends too. And do you know where all of that effort got me? Absolutely nowhere.

Stats are great provided that you are able to see them for what they are. Numbers. A mathematical formula that gives you a small window into what is happening with your website. They tell a story, just not the whole story.

You see, what happens when we get obsessed by statistics is that we find ourselves making decisions based solely on those numbers:

• We stop writing for our target audience and start writing to generate traffic. Any kind of traffic.
• We take to social media to see if we can squeeze out a few more visitors by over-sharing our posts instead of engaging with our communities.
• We become tinkerers. Constantly changing little things thinking they might make a difference.
• We use questionable SEO tactics in order to increase the quantity of visitors at the expense of the quality of visitors.

Some of which might get us the result we want (more traffic) but not the result we need (more customers).

Instead, spend 15-20 minutes each week looking at your stats. Review the number of visitors, what pages they frequent, the terms they searched to find you, their location, your bounce rate and any other information that could be valuable to you.

Learn from it. But take it with a grain of salt. Allow it to alter your plan but not control it.

Stupid Mistake #5: Blog Everyday Thinking More Content Equals Higher Rankings

It goes a little something like this. The more content you create, the more often your site will show up in a search. The more often your site shows up in a search, the more your traffic increases. The more your traffic increases, the more your phone rings. The more your phone rings, the more successful you are. The more successful you are, the better you look at your high school reunion.

In theory it sounds great. But it doesn’t work.

All of this assumes that you will be writing extraordinary content each day. Not counting weekends, that is 260 groundbreaking posts each year. It’s not sustainable. Eventually you are going to have a hard time coming up with a topic. Or your quality is going to suffer. Or you are going to miss a deadline. Or you are just going to burn out.

Eventually, your content is going to become mediocre. At best. And visitors don’t share mediocre content. They only share extraordinary content. This is where your efforts need to go.

Write every day, but only publish once or twice a week. Write extraordinary stuff. Stuff that matters. Stuff that is thought provoking. Stuff that is educational. Entertaining. Different. Cutting edge. Valuable. Controversial.

Stuff that makes other people wish they wrote it.

Do that and your website will be an overwhelming success for readers and search engines alike.

Stupid Mistake #6: Think You Are Smarter Than Google and Can Beat the System

This one is for all of you “SEO Rockstars” out there. If you honestly think that you can beat the system and cut to the front of the line because of some “flavor of the month” SEO technique you uncovered, boy are you in for a surprise.

I see it all of the time.

In nearly every workshop I teach, there is one person in the group that is there because they lost 90% of their traffic overnight. You can tell who they are by the bags under their eyes and their tear-stained collar. And because they always ask the same question:

“What’s the fastest way to get my ranking back?”

Some people never learn.

Even the dumbest person at Google had a higher IQ as a fetus than the rest of us do now as grown men and women. Stop trying to outsmart them. Whatever hole you are able to find in the boat today will inevitably be plugged tomorrow.

All you have to do is look at the past.

There was a time when you could write a few crappy articles and post them all over the web and in no time find yourself on page one. Until of course the Google Panda update smacked you well into next week. So you moved onto link building and the theory that he who has the most links wins. At least until the Google Penguin update danced all over your hopes and dreams.

It’s not worth it.

These shortcuts offer nothing but a little short-term gain with a lot of long-term pain. The results won’t last.

You must approach search engine optimization ethically and morally. It may seem like a lot of work, but if you look at the long-term gain of consistently building quality content and a community that relies on it you will find that it snowballs.

Much like how compound interest works, if you were to invest a year into turning your website into an incredible resource, you will be untouchable for years to come.

Stupid Mistake #7: Think too Much “Today” and Not Enough “Tomorrow”

The reason most of us do what we do is because of what it will give us right now. Skip the gym and sleep in because it feels good right now. Get that extra scoop of ice cream because it tastes good right now. Take the short cut because of what it will do for your business right now.

It is the sum of all of these “cheats” that creates enormous problems for you in the future.

The smartest thing you could do for your business is to future-proof your online marketing efforts. Stop searching for short cuts and put in the work now with the faith that you will get the results you want. So you won’t be adversely affected each time there is a new algorithm change. So new technology will only enhance your current standing.

So you can sleep at night.

Stupid Mistake #8: Worry More About What Google Thinks Than What Your Visitor Thinks

Want to know what “SEO friendly text” looks like? It goes a little something like this:

“Carpet Munchers is a professional landscaping company in New Jersey that focuses on professional landscaping in New Jersey. So if you are looking for a professional landscaping company in New Jersey, look no further as we are known as the premier professional landscaping company in New Jersey.”

And this is what so many websites sound like in a poor attempt to try and give Google what we think it wants. We write content with Google in mind. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn’t.

The problem is that whether it “works” in the eyes of Google or not is irrelevant because even if you did make it to page one with that tragic description of your business, no one in their right mind would hire you. Why? Because you have given your visitor no thought whatsoever. You are not helping them solve a problem. You do not appear to be concerned about their needs or expectations. And of course you sound completely incoherent.

Stop thinking about what Google wants and how you can benefit and start putting your visitors first. Offer them more value than they could possibly imagine through your website. Answer all of the questions that started them searching in the first place.

If you can become an irreplaceable resource for visitors, Google will take notice. Don’t worry.

Bonus Stupid Mistake #9: Leaving This Post Thinking This is a One Sided Conversation

My purpose behind this blog is not to stand on my soapbox and point out the various things I see people screwing up. Granted, I find a lot of joy in that, but it’s not my purpose. My purpose is to lead a conversation and a conversation requires more than one voice.

So, in order for this blog to succeed I am going to need your voice. Your involvement. Your feedback. Your ideas.

If you are struggling with something, ask. If you disagree, debate. If you have something to add, jump right in. That’s what the comments below are for. Please use them!!

We are all here to learn. Including me.

That stuff was not quite so awesome.

I taught private lessons (also known as babysitting). I played in hundreds of germ infested bars for half priced drinks (and the occasional case of Ebola). And of course every weekend I would play in a wedding band (the music industries version of legal prostitution).

With few exceptions, I never liked playing wedding band gigs. They were depressing. The musicians were depressing. They always seemed as though they were a little suicidal in their own special way. Perhaps that just comes with playing “The Girl from Ipenema” for 45 minutes straight each night.

Every weekend I would get home from a wedding band gig at about two o’clock in the morning. As I pulled into the driveway, I would swear up and down that I would never play another wedding again. But sure enough, by the time Wednesday rolled around, I would get a call from an agency looking for a bass player and I would be back.

The money was good. But that wasn’t the reason I kept saying “yes” even though it made my skin crawl. It’s because it was safe.

The Night Safe Stopped Being Safe

One night I was coming home from an exceptionally bad gig in New York. As usual, I did my nightly ritual of pulling into the driveway swearing this would be the last time. And then I heard myself say it.

“Who are you kidding? They are going to call in a few days with another gig and you are going to take it just like you always do.”

And I was right. It made me sick to my stomach to listen to myself piss and moan about it while doing absolutely nothing to change it. Again.

I was all talk and no action. All hat and no cattle. All…well, you get the point.

Only, this time was different. I had been here so many times before. So much so that continuing what I was doing was no longer safe.

So I took action…massive action.

This is What Massive Action Looks Like

At two o’clock in the morning, I pulled into a 7-11 a few miles from my house and stripped down to my boxer shorts. I tossed my tuxedo into the clothing donation box and drove home exhilarated. And almost completely naked.

(Ladies, back off…I’m married).

It wasn’t until a few days later when I received “the call” that it hit me. It was another agency looking to hire me for a few gigs for the upcoming weekend. And now I didn’t have a tux. How can I accept the gig if I don’t have a tuxedo? A rush of panic came over me as I had no choice but to tell them no.

And So Began the First Day of the Rest of My Life

Having to say “no” forced me to look at other opportunities that I wouldn’t have seen otherwise. Who knows where I would be today if I didn’t take such massive action. Perhaps I would still be playing “Boogie Oogie Oogie” right now instead of writing this. But because I removed all other possibilities, I had no choice but to make my next venture work.

And it did. Big time. All it took was stripping down to my Aquaman boxer shorts and burning all of the bridges behind me.

When is the Last Time You Wore Your Aquaman Boxers?

When you no longer have something to fall back on and no choice but to succeed, you’d be surprised at what you are capable of.

So, now it’s your turn. What is it that you are holding onto in an effort to stay safe? Or at least what you think is safe. Is it a job? A relationship? A decision you know you need to make? A certain belief about something?

What is it?

We all have something that we think is keeping us safe. But the truth is that you are just telling yourself a story to stay comfortable. But comfortable is not safe. In fact it doesn’t get much riskier than comfortable.

Today’s comfortable is tomorrow’s seed of regret. (Tweet This)

Comfortable keeps your foot firmly planted on first base. And you can’t steal second without taking your foot off of first.

You have to decide. Is your best in front of you or behind you?

If it’s in front of you (which it damn well better be) than it is time that you get comfortable being uncomfortable. Deciding is no longer enough. It is time that you take action. Massive action. Get naked and burn that bridge behind you. Give yourself no choice but to forge ahead with everything that you have.

Imagine what you would be capable of if you weren’t so comfortable. If you weren’t trying to stay safe. If you didn’t have something to fall back on. If there was no ‘Plan B’ to hold you back.

If only you could strip off the things you don’t want in your life and throw them in the donation booth and move on.

But now that it’s time, I feel sick. Reluctant. Doubt has settled in. What if I’m wrong? What if it’s just a painted rock? What will people think of me? What if no one likes it? What will they say? Will they laugh as I’m standing at the front of the room weak in the knees? Or worse, will they laugh at me behind my back?

I am scared shitless.

Maybe I should keep it to myself. Not share it with anyone. I will save a lot of heartache. I won’t risk the possibility of lot of people pointing and laughing at me. Or calling me names.

If I keep it to myself, I won’t have to be scared anymore. I won’t have to worry about what people think. I won’t stand out. I won’t fail. And in the end, no one will ever really know. I will be safe.

Until.

Until the day comes along when I realize what I had. And what I lost by not sharing it. That even if it wasn’t a fossil, it was still a beautifully painted rock that would have been loved just as much. Or maybe more. That in my effort to be safe I missed an opportunity to do something extraordinary. And now it’s too late.

That’s just not an option.

So instead, I am scared shitless. I finished my new book but I haven’t shown it to you yet. It is still selfishly tucked away in my pocket even though it was supposed to come out yesterday. It’s delayed because I had the flu. And because the artwork is not done yet. Because it’s not finished being edited.

But really, because I’m scared shitless.

See? You are not alone.

I know you have something that makes you scared shitless too. If you don’t, you’d better find it unless you plan on living a very mediocre life. And when you do, let me be the first to stand up and applaud you when it is time. Because whether it is a fossil or a beautifully painted rock, a book or a piece of music, a new company or an old idea, sometimes pushing past the fear of standing naked in front of the room with nothing more than a painted rock, an imagination and your head held high is all it takes to change the world.

Featured image courtesy of Dushan and Miae licensed via Creative Commons.

So, I though this might be a good opportunity to share the intro with you and see what you thought so far. And if you want the rest, just go to www.NotAnotherSEOBlog.com.

So, without further ado…

Introduction

I know what you’re thinking.

Does the world really need one more book on Search Engine Optimization? Another list of to-dos that you don’t understand and don’t have the time to do even if you did understand? Another blogger turned author masquerading around as an “SEO Guru” spewing off more self aggrandizing nonsense about the complexities of search engine optimization in an effort to make themselves feel more important than they are while making you feel more overwhelmed than you should?

Absolu…wait, did you just say no?

(Insert uncomfortable silence here)

Well, this is awkward.

I assumed that you were going to say “yes” so I had an entire introduction planned and you pretty much just ruined it.

I was going to say something about this book being different. And that if you were looking for the next breakthrough in link building technology, perhaps this book isn’t right for you. In fact, I was even going to do something bold and offer a full refund to anyone disappointed that I would not be offering up some kind of quick fix solution.

Yup. This intro was destined for greatness! But I guess we’ll never know for sure now will we?

So, with much less fanfare, let me just say that this is not an ordinary search engine optimization book. You won’t find any of that “more of the same” advice that you have read dozens of times in other books and on other blogs. There is no silver bullet solution that will help you discover new and interesting ways to trick your way onto page 1 of Google (or any other search engine for that matter).

Instead, I am offering you a new way to look at an old problem. A problem that has cost you and your business plenty of time and money. A problem that has left you frustrated and in some cases void of all hope (OK, so that one might be a little over dramatic). A problem that you know intimately well as “no one is visiting my website.”

But a problem that can be solved. Right here. Right now. And you won’t need some smartypants P.h.D in computer science or a Geek to English dictionary to do so. In fact, you already have within you everything you need to win the battle of the search engines with the exception of one thing. The right strategy. And that’s what this book is about.

So throw away everything you have ever been taught about SEO and get ready to see things a little bit differently. Have faith. And be willing to try something new.

If you have been looking for a better mousetrap, congratulations. You just found it.

For more, please visit www.NotAnotherSEOBlog.com.

But this post isn’t about some lame sales pitch peddling a new product that I am working on. Even if it is free…and awesome.

You know how I hate it when people do that.

No. This post is to show you how to get your book written. The real way. It’s about removing all of the glitz and glamour behind writing a book in order to introduce you to the true writing process. You see, I have read several books on how to write a book. I spoke with some of the worlds most accomplished authors. And I even went to a bookstore to see what real books look like.

I soon found out as I started writing that all of the tips that I learned along the way had one thing in common. They were all wrong. The advice, the methods, the exercises. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

So I decided to set the record straight. Pull back the curtain and show you the real steps that go into writing a book. The way it has worked for me and millions of other writers.

Step 1: Stare at the Screen

Most writers will tell you that the first and most important step to writing a book is to have a good idea. I disagree. Ideas are a dime a dozen. What’s better than wasting your time actually planning your book is to jump right into the writing process. This requires opening up your word processor or choice, cracking your knuckles and then staring at the screen. The longer you stare, the more profound that first sentence is going to be.

Step 2: Grab a Snack

If done right, staring at the screen will make you hungry. Nothing fuels the creative process like a snack. And since you are likely stealing time away either late at night or early in the morning to write your book, everyone in your house is probably sleeping, so there is no sense in making it a healthy snack. Hit that bag of chips you were eying earlier or dig into a pint of Häagen-Dazs. Nobody’s looking.

Step 3: Check your E-mail

When you get back from your snack, your next step should be to check your e-mail. It’s quite possible that you received a contract from a big time agent or publisher while you were away from the computer. That might be just the push you need to make this happen! The only way to know for sure is to check, but only allow yourself 5 minutes.

(Approximately 1 Hour Later)

Step 4: Watch TV

At this point, The Daily Show is about to start. This would be a good opportunity to clear your head and shake off a little of that frustration settling in. Besides, it’s only a half hour and it’s quite possible that the guest is an author. Maybe they will have some good advice for you! Honestly, this is more research than anything else.

(Approximately 1 1/2 Hours Later…After Watching The Cobert Report and Tosh.0 As Well)

Step 5: Curse at the Screen

At this point you realize that you have been hard at work on this book for several hours and you only have a title page that says “Insert Title Here” and a whopping 30-50 words for the introduction. And while we’re being honest, 25 of those words pretty much suck. It’s time to cut the crap and get to work because this thing isn’t going to write itself. Give the screen one last disapproving look as you give it your favorite curse word and get back to work.

Step 6: Research

Perhaps the problem is that you have too many questions to actually start writing. Luckily we live in the age of information and the answer is a mere click away. So, open up Facebook or Twitter. With over a billion users combined between the two sites, I’m sure there is a clue in there somewhere!

(Approximately 1 Hour and 4 Cat Videos Later)

Step 7: Edit the 1st Paragraph

At this point, the first paragraph should be finished! Well done! Now, rather than moving on to the rest of the book, you should make sure that this first paragraph is perfect. After all, it’s the first thing people are going to read. The only way to do that is to keep reading and editing it over and over again. Change words like “the” to “a” and back again until it feels right. Repeat until the end result is exactly what you had written in the first place.

Step 8: Talk to Yourself

As you are likely about 5 or 6 hours into the process and have a little under 100 words written, now would be a good time to ask yourself a bunch of self defeating questions in order to psych yourself up. Something like “why am I such an idiot?” and “should I even bother?” are favorites of mine. And they don’t all have to be questions either. Statements like “I suck” work just as well.

Step 9: Tweet that You Wrote 2,000 Words Today

I know. You didn’t write 2,000 words today. Or did you?!?! If you were to count up all of the words in your first paragraph (100) with the words in the e-mails you wrote from Step 3 (350) and the words that you wrote in Step 6 while changing your Facebook status, leaving comments and Tweeting (1,550) it all adds up to 2,000 words. Congratulations! Now, get out there and tell the world!

Step 10: Announce the Launch Date

As you are about to pack it in for the night you may realize that you have completed a grand total of 68 seconds worth of work in approximately 6 1/2 hours. Before you get completely disgusted with yourself and your lack of progress, reach down and in a last ditch effort to get something done today pull a date out of thin air. Maybe its a couple of weeks from now. Maybe it’s a couple of months. Or even a couple of years. It doesn’t matter. This is the date that your book is going to be released to the public. Let everyone know! Tell them via Facebook, Twitter, Morse Code and Smoke Signal. Whatever it takes to get the word out. Because, lets face it. With all of the distractions and reasons not to write your book, the only way you are actually going to get this thing done is if you don’t have a choice. Now, you don’t have a choice.

And with that said, my book is coming out on January 1st, so I really need to get back to work. Sign up at www.notanotherseoblog.com to download your free copy…while supplies last. :)