Stop Being Such a Selfish Bastard!

selfish-bastard
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I mean this in the nicest way possible. Sometimes you can be such a selfish bastard.

Everything you do seems to come down to personal gain and how you can benefit. Even this post. It’s all about you, isn’t it?

You’re searching for something. Something that will improve your business. Or your personal life. Maybe your finances.

You’re hoping that there is a nugget in here somewhere that will make things better for you. To justify the time you just spent on this. And if not? Poof. You’re gone. You abandon this whole thing. You disappear only to come back a few weeks later and try again.

And it’s not just this either. It’s virtually everything. Everything you do comes down to personal gain.

Just look at your Twitter profile. You are following thousands of people merely to get them to follow you back. Do you interact with all of them? Nope. Do you know why you are following all of them? Nope. Do you listen to all of them? Nope.

Do you even realize that you are following a car wash that is over 800 miles away?!?! Nope!

Even the books you read reek of personal gain. How to be a better marketer. How to be a better writer. A better blogger. A better salesperson. How to write better headlines. Make more money. Work less.

How about reading a few pages on how to be a better human being every once in a while?

But Everybody’s Doing It!

I know. It’s not just you. It’s everybody. I get that. This is how everybody approaches his or her digital life online. But that doesn’t mean you have to join them.

What if you were different? What if you were to find a better way? What if you were the first one to plant the flag?

Sure, it would be harder. It would suck an awful lot of the time. You would second-guess yourself almost everyday. You might even want to give up on the whole thing. And it’s very possible that giving up will be the one thing that you succeed at.

But if you are willing to push beyond all of that. Have a little faith that if you were to do the right thing by everyone around you, somehow it would all pay off. And I bet it would.

In fact, I bet it would change everything. For everybody. Including you.

But that means you are going to have to step it up. Say things you don’t want other people to know. Do things you never thought you would have to do. Give up things that you couldn’t imagine life without.

It means you are going to have to get comfortable being uncomfortable.

Be the solution to someone’s problems instead of expecting someone to be the solution to your problems. (Tweet that!)

Now that is something to strive for.

If you could write from that place. Connect with people from that place. Approach life from that place. Do business from that place.

Everything changes. Everything. Try it. I dare you.

I’m Sorry, But…

I didn’t write this for you. Although you are welcome to pretend as though I did and use it.

I wrote this note to myself one year ago when I decided to change my voice and take my blog in a different direction. When I decided that I wanted to be more than just a guy with yet another blog that no one cared about. When I decided that I wanted to use my voice to somehow make a difference. No matter how big or how small.

I’m not there yet. I know that. But I’m closer than I was when I wrote this. And I will be closer still this time next year when I read it again.

And I guess that’s all that really matters, isn’t it?

  • Tom Martin

    Excellent blog post, and you raise a very important point. “Inequality” seems to be the buzz word in politics right now. (And the politicians — a “me” oriented bunch if ever there was one — are definitely working’ it!) This tells me that the level of egocentricity in this country has only increased since the time you wrote that blog. (Another sign of this is that television programming showing regular folks helping others – which once had at least a minimal presence on the air — is now DOA.) Those who need a little nudge in the direction of helping others might find Adam Grant’s new book “Give and Take” helpful and persuasive, because he says that when we help others it really does come back to benefit us. (Aside from it being “the right thing to do!”) Now, let’s get back to me…

  • http://iamles.com/ Les Dossey

    I’m not there yet. I know that. But I’m closer than I was when I wrote this. And I will be closer still this time next year when I read it again.

    And I guess that’s all that really matters, isn’t it?

    Awesome!

  • Stan Bush

    Yeah. Well. Whatever dude. I knew you were off base when you didn’t even have the courtesy to change that image to read “I Love Stan!” It’s the least you can do considering I took time away from my beautiful mirror to read this thing. But nooooooooo…. It’s all about you isn’t it! I’m betting that when you take family portraits you make sure that you’re in them. You’re the kind of selfish guy that goes to a restaurant and orders what HE wants rather than something that can be shared with the table full of random people next to you. They need love too you know.

  • Peter Conway

    Awesomeness!

  • lisa demmi

    You probably think this blog is about you…wait, I meant me.

    • lisa demmi

      AND I prefer to call myself an arrogant asshole. Which flip flops back and forth from a unconfident baby. Just sayin’ AND I’m very uncomfortable admitting that.

  • Paula @ Vintage Kitchen

    It’s interesting to realize that many successful blogs and sites are in the business of telling the rest how to make more money. No matter the path the end result is supposed to be more money to have more freedom, work less, whatever. That means we’re getting nowhere. Most are forever trying to get there. I think a big issue is what you wrote here. But it’s still a post about how to be more successful, jaja!