15 People Ruining Social Media

15-people-ruining-social-media

I like social media. I really do. I use it everyday. I even have a Google+ t-shirt. But I'm tired of reading blog post after blog post about how to "win the game" of social media from your friendly neighborhood guru. It's not a game. And there is no way to win at it. But lucky for us, there are plenty of ways to lose. Here are a few of the biggest offenders: The Quoter Hey Socrates, we all … [Read more...]

How to Join the New Internet Famous in 3 Simple Steps

internet-famous

I don’t know about you, but this whole writing and connecting online thing is getting exhausting. You spend hours torturing yourself in an effort to extract some deep dark thought from within your brain only to have it met with the digital equivalent of an underwhelming round of applause. And for what? The hopes of being chosen. Of being awarded the holy grail of the Internet. Going … [Read more...]

6 Words That We Have Officially Sucked the Life Out Of

words-weve-sucked-the-life-out

There was a time not long ago when Shakespearean English was the vernacular of choice. We beseech'd. We doth'd. And of course we twas'd and thy'd as we went about our day. Until recently. And by recently, I mean a couple of hundred years ago. Something like that. Historians would have you believe that the language evolved. That it matured to what it is today. But that's not the real … [Read more...]

Help Me Take Back Internet Marketing from the “Internet Marketers”

take-back-internet-marketing

Stop me if you've heard this one before. I was at a networking event not too long ago when I met this guy. WAIT…hold on…let me finish!! This is a different story about a different guy at a different networking event. Jeez. Anyway, we were talking for about 5 to 10 minutes. Typical stuff. He was giving me the rundown on what he did. I was giving him the rundown of what I did. He was … [Read more...]

Just Because You Can Have a Facebook Page Doesn’t Mean You Should

no-facebook-page

True story. I was driving home the other day behind a commercial van. It was for a garage door company. They install garage doors. I guess somebody has to do it. Anyway, taking up about 30% of the sides and the back of the van was: FOLLOW US ON FACEBOOK All caps. Giant letters. And of course it was accompanied by that larger than life Facebook thumb we've all come to know and loathe...I … [Read more...]

14 Reasons Why You Are No Longer Allowed to Use Twitter or Facebook

A bunch of us have been talking and well, I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that you are no longer allowed to use Facebook or Twitter. Or Google Plus. Maybe even LinkedIn, we're still debating that one. You can keep Pinterest though. None of us really like Pinterest. It's nothing personal. You're just kind of annoying a bunch of us and we want you to stop before you ruin … [Read more...]

Which Social Media Site Should You Use for the Greatest Return on Investment?

None. That's right. You shouldn't use any. If the deciding factor of whether or not to spend your time on Facebook over Twitter or LinkedIn over Pinterest solely comes down to which will bring you the highest ROI, you need your hand slapped and your computer taken away from you. And maybe even a disapproving look. You may hate this next part, but I'm going to say it anyway. There is no such … [Read more...]

An Open Letter to the Person that Keeps Inviting Me to Facebook Events that are 3,000 Miles Away

Dear person that keeps inviting me to Facebook events that are 3,000 miles away, I want to thank you. Yes, that's right. I said thank you. It used to be that life was boring. My schedule was filled with such time wasters as speaking engagements, meetings, date nights with my wife, school concerts with my kids and a host of other personal and business related events. Quite frankly, it was just one … [Read more...]

Are You Sucking the Human Being Out of Being Human?

Did you know that the best time to send a Tweet is precisely at 2:14 PM Eastern Standard Time on a Wednesday afternoon while slightly overcast with a 17% chance of rain and 27% humidity? Not a big Twittererer? No problem. Just make sure that your Facebook status does not breach the suggested length of 17.2 words with an average number of syllables per word no higher than 1.2 and a limit of 3 … [Read more...]

You’re Not As Dumb As We Think You Are!

We're all laughing at you behind your back. It's true. I know that's pretty rude of me to say but I couldn't hold it in any longer. If it makes you feel any better, I'll probably get in trouble once everyone else finds out that I told you. We had a pact. It's nothing personal. I'm sure that you think that you are a Twitter ninja. That you pretty much have everything under control. That you're a … [Read more...]